Ok… I just want to go on a little rant about the grocery story. I hate it and I hate going to it. There are only two things worth getting at the grocery store: M&M’s and Tab. I can’t buy M&M’s because I have no self control and then I eat the entire pounder. I wouldn’t actually need to be purchasing TAB either if I wasn’t so busy stuffing M&M’s and other assorted chocolate into my mouth. Kind of a conundrum, don’t ya think? At any rate, I usually only go to the specialty market. I actually go there daily. Why? Because they sell cooked food.
My philosophy is that if it’s cooked and if it’s then served in my house, it’s a home cooked meal. Why should I spend time roasting a chicken if they’re doing a perfectly lovely job of it at Fresh Market? See? That’s what I’m talking about. The list of available food is endless if you have enough sources … but that’s a story for another day. Today I address Harris Teeter aka “The Enemy” or “the store for regular people”.
After being told yesterday that “there is nothing to eat in our house” by my kids and then, in a classic football situation of piling on, by my HUSBAND I relented and made a quick trip to Harris Teeter. Now normally my response to my kids is, “don’t you know how to drive and go get this shit yourself?” but I can’t get that shitty to my poor husband who slaves away all day to provide me with said life of leisure.
So, I went to the store and today two - count them two - things pissed me off. I guess it would be three if you counted the mere fact that I was there in the first place. Firstly, why the hell is everything generic now? If I wanted to buy Harris Teeter brand shit, I would buy Harris Teeter brand shit, but I DON’T. I want what I want. Who are they to tell me I have to save money? I can never find the stuff I want anymore because they don’t fucking carry it because they’re so busy promoting their own shit. It completely and totally pisses me off. Where is my freedom of choice?
Secondly…bagging? Seriously! This is like some lost ancient art form. Why is it nobody in the world can bag? I always get paper so I can use them at home for recycling. Doesn’t it make sense to put the heavy, square things on the bottom and the lighter things on top? I mean, WTF? Who puts bananas on top of bread? Well, my dumb as shit bagger did. I always try to bag it myself to avoid these endless morons but it never fails to amaze me how badly humans can fuck up the simple act of putting shit in bags! And then I absolutely hate it when I have one bag that’s way too heavy to carry so of course the handles break…and then there’s a bag filled with potato chips? I mean, what is up with this? Isn’t there some sort of course that these people can take on weight equalization? Seriously folks … it’s not that difficult to evenly distribute the groceries.
Ok, well that’s it, I’m done. I feel much better now. We have loads of Chex mix, pretzels, sodas and cereal in our house now. Of course, nothing for dinner but I’m sure that something can be arranged later for that!
I mean, I’m just saying…