One of the very few things I do right for myself is take care of my skin, at least on my face. I’ve always taken care of it right from the get go. In high school, I was one of those girls with perfect skin who never had breakouts. Actually, once when I was a senior in high school, I did get a pimple. I literally begged my mom to let me stay home from school that day. I couldn’t believe it when she wouldn’t let me and she FORCED ME to go to school anyways.
Fortunately, it was winter so I wore a hat and scarf set and kept the scarf on my chin covering up the pimple all day. Seriously, all day! Somebody even wrote about it in the year book and said “remember that time you had a pimple and nobody could even see it and you freaked and wore a scarf over it all day?” Yeah, so I had good skin. I had a nightly routine where I would use Noxema and then Oil of Olay, the typical teenage skin care routine. I loved everything about my skincare routine. Putting the stuff on, trying to throw water on it perfectly like all the chicks in the commercial. Sometimes, I would go hunt down my little brother and wipe Noxema all over him as well, just to piss him off. I was nice like that! I was incredibly vigilant about this and was the type of person that, no matter how wasted or tired I was, my face was going to be attended to. As a result, I’ve always had fairly good skin.
Eventually, the Noxema gave way to better and better products and as of last year I was using Dermalogica. I really like Dermalogica but eventually, Kevin insisted on using it too. At this point, we were pouring some serious bucks into skincare products but there was no way that Kevin was going to be left out of the skin care parade. So I use the cleanser, the moisturizer and occasionally the masks. At any rate, I liked the lotion we were using because it was effective but not greasy. It apparently was doing a good job because I went to a college swim team reunion and somebody informed me that I either had good skin or a good plastic surgeon. Talk about a back handed compliment. But I digress…
A few months ago, I was in Connecticut for a funeral and I was in Saks Fifth Avenue. As I was wandering around the store I saw the Kiehl’s counter. I’ve always heard of this skincare line but it’s not available in Greensboro, North Carolina at least as far as I know. I think, “What the hell?” and I buy a small container of their face cream. Well, the stuff was a little heavier than I was used to but I really, really liked this stuff. So, when the little travel size container started running out I went online and ordered a large container. This stuff isn’t cheap but if there’s one thing that’s important to me, it’s my skin.
Fast forward to August and we’re down at the Outer Banks of North Carolina for a wedding. There wasn’t much to do down there so of course we spent a lot of time in the sun. Kevin got sun burnt and he needed some lotion on his face when the following conversation took place.”
Kevin: “Hey, let me use some of your face stuff.”
Me: “Use your own face stuff.”
Kevin: “I don’t have my face stuff. You forgot to bring it.”
Me: “How do you figure that I forgot to bring it?”
Kevin: “You said you had all the bathroom stuff.”
Me: ` “I said I had all MY bathroom stuff.”
Kevin: “Well, my face is really dry. I think I need to try some of your stuff.”
Me: “My stuff is really expensive.”
Kevin: “Are you kidding me? You’re really not going to let me try it?”
Me: (Huge sigh) “Fine go ahead a try it. But you only need a little.”
Kevin: (Sticks his finger in and takes a HUGE DOLLOP)
Me: “What the hell are you doing?”
Kevin: “Using your moisturizer.”
Me: “That stuff is worth its weight in gold. Stop using so damn much.”
Kevin: “Wow. I really like this stuff. My face feels so smooth.”
Me: “Don’t get used to it.”
It’s now one month later and I walked into the bathroom yesterday and caught Kevin using my Kiehls face moisturizer. Apparently he’s been using it ever since we got back from the beach. Does he use just a little like he’s supposed to? NO, he takes a huge amount and slathers it all over his face. I’m almost out and now I have to reorder it online … again. This morning I asked him why he was using the Kiehls and he accused me of trying to keep the “good stuff” all to myself. He also said that this story is completely exaggerated. Seriously, is he quibbling with me about this?
It’s times like this that I just take a deep breath and realize that I’ve really married a teen aged girl.