(I wrote this before I went to London to you’ll have to deal with the timing issue, okay?)
I think I’ve made a mistake. A BIG mistake. Let me give you a little history here.
About three months ago I received a call from someone in the alumni relations department at Johns Hopkins and they asked me if I wanted to be on the 30th reunion committee. I asked them how they got my name and they said it had been referred to them.
“What does it entail” I asked. They replied that the committee would be putting together all activities for the class of 1981 for the reunion in April of 2011.
“Who’s on the committee” was my next question. They start giving me names and I don’t know most of the people, but I did know two and three and it all sounded pretty interesting but of course, I had more questions.
Them: “What would you like to know?”
Me: “I know some of these people are highly successful. Do you need to be successful to be on this committee because I seriously haven’t accomplished a single thing in my life so I need to know what you’re looking for.”
Them: “No, you just need to be able to throw a party for the weekend.”
Me: “Oh, then I’m in! That’s what I excel at. Sure I’d love to be on the committee.” And there you are.
I told Kevin that I’m going to be on the committee and he said dryly, “did you tell them that you screwed up the 20th reunion by writing it on your calendar on the wrong weekend and we never made it up there?”
“No, I don’t need them to know that I’m a dumb ass. I’m sure somebody else can take care of all those pesky details”.
Fast forward three months and I received the names of the people on the committee. I didn’t go to a large college and when I was there I felt like I knew everyone, but who were these people? And holy shit, look at what they do and how much they’ve accomplished in their lives!
I check out the agenda to figure out what type of job I’d like to be doing on the committee and find out that these are my options:
1. Reunion Class Gift Campaign … um, no. I don’t even give to Hopkins myself. Actually, I feel that if anything, they should be reimbursing me for my college tuition because I can’t remember anything I learned there and I’m certainly not going anywhere career wise. Besides that, I think some of the nasty, and possibly illegal, habits I picked up there have aided & abetted in the disintegration of my brain. So no, I’m not begging for money.
2. Reunion Planning. Okay, that sounds like fun but I don’t live in Baltimore so I can’t I plan a dinner, the entertainment, location, etc. This is right up my alley but how could this possibly work?
3. Communications: Save the date and a reunion letter. Hmmm… that one might work. Even though I can’t remember a date myself, perhaps somebody else can save it but the reunion letter is done in October and I’m going to London in October so that isn’t convenient. On to the next committee.
4. Networking. That’s making phone calls and emailing people. Even though I can’t remember anybody, I have no problem bullshitting my way through a conversation so maybe I can tackle this one.
5. Last, but not least is the reunion website. Hey, I’m already overrun with computer shit posting this blog five days a week, there’s no way I can do anymore computer stuff, especially since I HATE MY COMPUTER.
So there you are. Apparently, they’re expecting some work out of me. That doesn’t exactly jive with the “do nothing all day lifestyle” that I lead. This blog is already turning into a bit more of a time crunch than I would have suspected, and I’m not even famous yet.
Well, you will certainly be hearing more about this in the future … and possibly, I will even show up at the damn thing this year.