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In which keely is robbed at gunpoint - Good Enough
The chronicles of an underachiever

Date: 2010-10-19 07:36
Subject: In which keely is robbed at gunpoint
Security: Public
Music:Toxic by Britney (it's Britney Bitch)
Tags:gunpoint, in which, keely, lynn, maxie b's, robbery, yogurt

Since we are going to be celebrating “Keely week” I feel I must share the quintessential Keely story. She actually told this story to some people while in London and of course, she tells it much better than I, but I know you’ll appreciate it. In our family, we have a huge list of what we like to call “Keelyisms”. Keely is a very bright girl who hasn’t a lick of common sense and tends to speak before she thinks. It’s from these two personality traits that some of the funniest incidents ever emerge and today I’m going to share one of them with you. I know if Keely were sitting beside me right now, she would be correcting me left and right about the details of the story but she’s not here so I’m on my own.

This incident occurred when Keely was a senior in high school 3 years ago. In our household, dinners were often staggered as people had various after school/work activities and therefore needed to eat at different times. Daniel and Andie both had after-school sports and would arrive home around 6:30 absolutely starving so wanted dinner ready at that time while Keely had swimming practice around 6:00-8:00 and would eat early and then go to practice. Often, the only thing we actually ate together as a family was frozen yogurt which was the big treat in our house. There is a dessert shop called Maxie B’s that we frequented on a daily basis. It had ice cream, frozen yogurt and baked goods and they were all delicious. On the day in question, Keely decided to be a champ and run by and pick up the frozen yogurt on the way back from swimming practice. It really wasn’t that far out of the way and didn’t take a long time so even though she had loads of homework to do, she agreed.

However, on this day Keely seemed to be running late and I was starting to wonder where she was when the phone rang and Keely was on the line.

Keely: “Hi Mom”

Me: “Keely, where are you?”

Keely: “I’m still at Maxie B’s. I have to wait around for the police.”

Me: “The police? Why? What happened?”

Keely: “Maxie B’s just got robbed.”

Me: “Oh my god! Are you alright? What happened?”

Keely: “Yeah, I’m fine. Here’s what happened. I was at the counter ordering our five desserts and some sketchy guy walks in, right?”

Me: “Ok, right.”

Keely: “… and I’m the only customer there and the two girls (the manager and a schoolmate of Keely’s who worked there) are getting my order together. The guy had been standing in the corner and he got of the phone …”

Me: “ok and …”

Keely: “…so the guy walks up to me and pulls out a gun and starts waving it around and says, give me all your money!”

Me: “Oh shit!”

Keely: “…and the manager (who’s a tough kid around 23 years old) says, NO!”

Me: “WHAT?”

Keely: “…so the guys waving the gun around and acting nuts and starts saying give me the money or I’m going to shoot this girl and he’s pointing the gun at me.”

Me: “…pointing the gun at you?”

Keely: “yeah, so …”

Me: “Oh my God …were you freaking out?”

Keely: “No, because I’m thinking … oh no… they didn’t even get to put the lids on my yogurts and they’re all melting …”

Me: “What? Are you serious Keely?”

Keely: “… so then the guy points the gun at my head and says to the manager, I’m going to kill this girl if you don’t give me the money.”

Me: (I’m actually speechless at this point so Keely continues)

Keely “…so Pender (the schoolmate) is hysterically crying on the floor, I’m standing there panicked about my yogurt melting with a gun to my head, the guy’s yelling that he’s going to kill me if he doesn’t get the money and the manager tells him that there is a security camera that’s filming the entire thing and that he’s going to get caught and go to jail.”

Me: (still speechless but I mumble) “ … and then what happened?”

Keely: “…the guy freaks out and runs out of the store.”

Me: “OH MY GOD! Do you want me to come over there?”

Keely: (continuing on and ignoring me) “… but don’t worry mom, they put the yogurt in the freezer so it won’t melt before I’m home”

Me: (dryly) “well thank god Keely because out of all the stuff you just told me, the fear of my yogurt melting was the greatest!”

Keely: “yeah, and they offered to comp me the yogurt but I told them that it wasn’t their fault so I just paid for it anyways.”

Me: “you did what?”

So that’s it. The police came and scolded the manager for not giving up the money. Kevin and I were livid that Keely was put in that position. You’re always supposed to give up the money in the till and you never endanger anyone over small change like that. As it turns out, the guy was on a huge crime spree and had robbed both before and after Maxie B’s but he got caught later that night and Keely became an instant celebrity.

When asked if she would ever go back to Maxie B’s she replied, “yeah, probably tonight” and she did.

So there you are. The kid was completely unphased by the incident and just figured that “hey, this is going to be a great story in my college applications!”

Yep, so that’s Keely. This story is just the tip of the iceberg and we’re going to enjoy an entire week of them. Stay tuned …
Post A Comment | 4 Comments | | Link

User: kdbleu
Date: 2010-10-19 16:14 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I think you're under estimating the yogurt in this situation. Think of the stress that yogurt was under, wondering, just wondering what was going to happen. Would it melt before it was able to live out its purpose of being enjoyed as God intended. LOL
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User: angelicalangie
Date: 2010-10-21 21:50 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
OMG _ I have been in hairy situations before. I fought back when I was attemptedly mugged (Idiot girl grabbed my stuff, including my clothes and told me she had a knife and to give it to her. It was the day before 9/11 - I spent that day in hospital with eye damage due to a lovely punch from the girl) when crazy strikes, brain goes crazy places.

Have to say this line kills me

I’m standing there panicked about my yogurt melting with a gun to my head

That is a money quote!
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User: koolaidmom11
Date: 2010-10-21 22:23 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
yeah...the entire thing was ridiculous. The kid panics over the little things but a robbery, no problem. Did you read the medical condition one? That's why i was concerned when you were explaining about your hip stuff.
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User: angelicalangie
Date: 2010-10-21 22:28 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Yeah I did. That was horrid, poor girl. You guys come over. I'll buy you guys drinks!

Thank you for being concerned. It's intermittent thank whoever is in charge up there. But when it goes, yowzers, and then off goes the sciatica (can't win for losing there) Since it has been going on for a year though I will try and get it checked out. It isn't right, and it is limiting my range of activities. (Can't do a full time retail job :( it would have been handy too since it is xmas season!
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March 2013